In Praise of Joseph

We sometimes forget that the Angel Gabriel had two visits; one to Mary and one to Joseph (in a dream), because without the latter's co-operation the plan could not work. There was every reason in the world for Joseph to walk away discouraged "yeah, right, you never slept with anyone else." But he decided instead to believe and trust Mary, his fiance, and stand by her-even when it looked pretty bad.
The potential Mary carried was only made possible through Joseph's trust. When the Angel announced the conception it was at that moment a potential that required cooperation to manifest- cooperation of two people. It was an astounding trust- it required he believe something he never saw before or knew happened ever before-it was entirely new. What? The Holy Spirit himself made you pregnant? It's a miracle he didn't send her to Saint E's or banish her to the leper colony or put her out for being just plain dellusional. But he believed something totally new- a form of manifestation of holy goodness that didn't look like anything before it- God coming in a new way. It required an amazing amount of faith to believe that God would come this way-a way he never saw before.
The emotional and material support he provided cannot be over-estimated. She was not alone during her pregnancy- she had a loving spouse who tended to her needs, emotional and physical.

Had Joseph put Mary out and ended their engagement, Mary might have lost faith in herself and in the promise of the Angel- she would have been angry at the Angel because the message caused her to lose her love Joseph and that would have been devastating. She came from a priestly family and she served the priesthood-she sewed garments for priests- the stigma of being an unwed pregnant girl whose fiance just dumped her might have been totally unbearable. She might have thrown herself off a cliff, or tried to self abort or done something disasterous to herself or the child. Joseph's faith and trust in her, and constant love in spite of how the circumstances looked, made it all possible. His trust was to her the confirmation of all the Angel said. God would come this way.

That is why the Blessed Mother needs another title. She is the Blessed Wife. She is the Wife of Joseph. Someone should build a shrine somewhere to the Blessed Wife. She might not have ever been the Blessed Mother without first being the Blessed Wife.

I think it is extremely important that men understand better how much they are needed. Moreover, it is extremely important that men understand better how much their faith and trust is needed. When God does something amazing, he can approach it differently, he doesn't always come the same way. He came as a voice in a burning bush, in a pillar of smoke by day and fire by night leading Moses through the desert, as a still small voice, as a voice on a mountaintop to Moses, as an infant to a woman who never slept with a man, as new manna eucharistic bread as blood that looks like wine. God is eternal and unlimited in how he can come to you. How open are you to something totally new- will you walk away like the people who scratched their heads in disbelief when Jesus explained that he would come as something to eat?

Joseph as Mary's husband during her pregnancy did what all good husbands do for nine months of a pregnancy. He carried her and put her on a donkey for the trek to Bethlehem so they could obey the law and register for the census and he tried to find them the best accommodations. Even when they would be unwelcome inside the Inn he made it as comfortable as possible in the barn out back for his wife who was then after a long journey on a donkey, ready to deliver a baby. It was Joseph who delivered the baby into the world. It was Joseph who was the steady calm presence next to a woman in screaming sweating labor. It was Joseph who first saw Jesus emerge into the earth.
We are in a society now where 51% of all women are living alone or with people to whom they are not married; they have no cover or protection of a married male spousal figure. Children are living in fatherless environments like at no other time in history and the socioeconomic fall out is widely studied -the repercussions are serious.
Our church history has elevated the Madonna figure in paintings, sculpture, Ikons and stained glass and almost footnoted Joseph into obscurity- but there is no Nativity without him. He is the model quintessential father.
We need to recapture the real meaning of the Angel's mission: there were two equally needed
pieces to this drama. The potential is only possible with and by Joseph. There is no Nativity without him.