One to Another
Going to a Priest for Confession is no substitute for asking forgiveness of the one you wronged. I am amazed at how some people think that their job is done and all is well simply by getting "absolution" after a dictate of a penance of a few Hail Mary's after they have wronged someone when there is no requirement to go to that person wronged and directly ask forgiveness and make amends (one of the 12 step hallmarks for AA). "I am sorry, please forgive me, I still love you" does a lot to redress the mistrust generated from an act of insensitivity or betrayal and goes a long way toward mending the lost trust engendered and dispels fear that the confessing person doesn't have a clue what they actually did, how bad it really was or that they intend to change their behavior. The catholic church makes this less personal by providing a "community representative" who is supposed to be the conscience of the community in upholding the ethical standard and empowering him with the church's authority to stand in Christ's place and forgive sins because "what you bind on earth will be bound in heaven" etc. which is viewed as an authority exclusively in the catholic Church's hands by catholics (the Protestant perspective is that it is authority in each believer's hands or in the community of the faithful's hands.)
The fact that the church may bless and absolve someone does not say anything about whether the wronged individual has come into forgiveness and it helps to hear "sorry." I don't know why it isn't mandatory procedure and protocol to require that the person seeking absolution try to make amends and seek forgiveness first of the wronged person then report back what happened before a wrote repetition of prayers is deemed sufficient to expiate all guilt.
Any thoughts from the doctrine police? Comment below.
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