St. Peter and the Blonde

Some ecclesiastical gentlemen -- a cardinal, a couple of bishops and some others -- were waiting outside the Pearly Gates for St. Peter to open up. He finally arrived, but just they were about to enter heaven St. Peter asked them to wait a moment and let a new arrival through first. A sweet young hot thing in a mini-skirt arrived and was ushered immediately through.The cardinal was agast and more than a bit upset about this and demanded an explanation from St. Peter. After all, they had been waiting outside for quite some time and were pillars of the church. How could a girl in a mini-skirt deserve better treatment? St. Peter smiled and told him: "While she was alive, that young lady drove a little yellow sports car. She regularly jumped red lights, overtook on blind corners, and generally scared the devil out of more people than all of you combined."

Thanks to Beliefnet for that one.

This is the opening joke to a sermon I, a woman, would tell were I allowed to preach from a pulpit in the Catholic church, which of course, I am not. I might not be actually all that good at it, but no one would ever know or find out- because no women get to try. Just because they are women. This of course is a violation of principles of the DC Human Rights Act, and probably a few Federal Civil Rights ones as well but for possible exemptions for all white, all boy religious organizations.

I would use this as a backdrop to lighten up the crowd of white robed white all male Dominicans who think women's value should be reduced to what they can pay them or whether or not they tempt the adolescents of their order with impure thoughts (whether they know it or not). Then I would remind them that their Order led the Inquisition of Joan of Arc, deemed her demonic and crazy and fried her at the stake because God gave her visions that he didn't bother giving to the old men and she had more a following. Actually, she had the ear of the King and an entire Army backing her up.

Then I would assert my womanly prerogative to be obedient to Truth (a decidedly Dominican virtue), as Christ is the "Way, the TRUTH and the LIFE" and when their boys veered far from it to tell them to go back to their house and do the dishes. Similarly, I would exercise my womanly prerogative to deem any "student master" too blindly petty a persecuting mean-spirited evil bigot to bother listening to for ten consecutive minutes because that is the courtesy he shows women.

Obey those worthy or your soul will tread mud and mire through the ego forests of petty tyrants.

That's an eloquent way of saying "Kiss My Scapular"

I cannot serve two Masters. the student master has to go.