Church Turns Seminary into Housing for Broke Women Jilted by Priests

April Fools in October.

I should write for the Onion.

There was a woman over 50 whom everyone thought was the saddest thing- emotionally manipulated into writing check after check for literally years to one character of high repute and standing and a fancy professorial title at the Catholic University of America whom she believed was in love with her. They appreciated it so much they entered her into their "third order." She wrote so many checks in fact a few ones to her old landlord didn't quite clear and she ended up literally homeless. She didn't know where to go and sat literally at the doorstep all night of the Dominican House of Studies. No one let her in. She sat there all night. She eventually found a room with roomates-this woman over 50- You know who you are fancy professor.

She eventually went mad-literally- either drove herself or someone in a collar drove her literally round the bend or two- to a point where she was on expensive meds that she couldn't afford. They eventually kicked her out of the Dominican House and labeled her obsessive. Because that's what guys totally disinterested in women like to call normal heterosexual women who think it is normal to fall in love with men when the men would rather all live with themselves in a french looking castle in 'little vatican."

So instead of a new seminary for 30 guys- how about affordable housing for single women over 50- who attached themselves sadly to orders, supporting them in many cases, and were left with nothing -no children- but a bunch of sexually ambigious guys labeling them old and crazy. Start a fundraiser for that- get the Knights to kick in a few million they must have spare change if they are painting domes for over a mil.