Employment Law

The Crib Notes I have to give this talk to prospective clients repeatedly so I thought I would just put it here for you. Please read this before you try to retain me and waste my time. This is not legal advice because I don't know you. It's just my particular perspective on life as an attorney who has litigated for longer than I want to. It is not illegal or against the law to be an arrogant jerk. If it were we would have to construct courthouses in every 7-11 and Starbucks for all the claims. That goes for bosses and for you. If your coworkers hate you it is not legally permissible to disguise the fact that you are an arrogant jerk by calling them racists, homophobes, or religious bigots. If you do, they are required to investigate it or they will be charged with "Retaliation" which can be a worse bite than the first accusation. So when they "investigate" it is not grounds for a Retaliation charge. That's their job. Lastly, juries have mixed feelings about giving arrogant jerks the lottery winning of a punitive award. Some of those huge multimillion dollar awards you have read about involve more than one person and involve lots of serious facts and I have to evaluate fairly whether you have anything close. So don't get mad if I tell you that the comment you thought was discriminatory wasn't. Finally, because you cry at the sound of your own heartbeat doesn't mean everything is emotionally distressing under legal standards. That is a high threshold to meet. If it were not so we would have to have courthouses in every 7-11 and Starbucks. So if you are an arrogant jerk who cries at the sound of your own heartbeat my advise is try to get along with your coworkers unless you want a long unpaid vacation or prefer what the Brits call 'the Dole.' Because there is actually such a thing as "work competency" and "fitness for duty."