Justice Kanoodle


  has determined that we will not stoop to the bigotry of the lowest common female orifice. People wishing to put their penises inside the ears of grandmothers and grandfathers now enjoy equal rights to people who go 'missionary' position style.

  " We were not all made to be missionaries", declared Justice Kanoodle. "Some of us prefer the smell of wet ear wax to vaseline or natural lube. Its just a matter of personal preference. Heretofore", he declared, " there is a constitutional right to insert penis into grandma's ear."

  The nation hailed the first granting of equality to Ear- Screwers. The venders outside the White House are commissioned to sell T shirts emblazoned with flags shaped in the form of Ears.

The new national anthem is a tune titled  "Now I know what really happened to Van Gogh."