Today

Americans Everywhere

   celebrate the beautiful freedoms we were given by Puritan people who apparently sub-textually according to a recent opinion and a national poll of people in three very gay states, think shit is the same as babies because they apparently can't tell the difference between an anus and a womb.  "They are all equal according to the 14th Amendment" said the Justice with a straight face while also declaring it equally laudable to make spaghetti carbonara with toenail clippings and phlem.

   Sod-thumping fudge -packers are rejoicing everywhere and gay people are coming out of the closet at jesuit seminaries all over the country saying "we teach the stuff, we can redact what we want." Women still cannot fall in love with priests because that is a 'sin against the faith' apparently, and people without annulments cannot make honest people of the people they have been sleeping with and marry them without being fired, because that also is a 'sin against the gay mafia who prefer sucking men to women anyway.'

   Young mothers now wonder out loud to their husbands "does this mean I have to roll over now or you will leave me for fred?"
According to the new religion founded by a disturbed Greek woman whose husband left her and her two kids for a man who founded the new media religion called HuffHoReligion, let him go, he probably didn't do the dishes anyway and you will have more fun sleeping with twenty men than stuck with the wierdo.

  Protestant churches fearing for their lives tax exemptions promptly put a rainbow flag on their facebook pages declaring 'God created rainbows so people could eat each other AssUpSideDown." Its in a footnote, they are sure-somewhere. or a commentary. What difference does it make anyway?

   The church issued a Papal Bull affirming that contraception is still not permissible because "why use pharmaceuticals when you can just take it in the Ass?" Anyone caught using pharmaceuticals will be banned from church, announced the male department chair of a Jesuit University who just married a man.

  And all God's people said "What the F??"