Dear Sugar Daddy

Here's what else I would like my government to give me for free. Tampax. Are you blushing? Now we are even because I was blushing when someone from law school was demanding on national TV the government or the catholic school or the Archdiocese or anyone but her or her parents or her boyfriend pay for the contraception they think they need. (because you can't live without ingesting carcinogens that alter your cycle when you want to be having sex and not get pregnant) Women on average bleed for a week once a month. That's a lot of ruined underwear. If yours comes from Victoria Secret not that ten pack from pennys or Filenes basement (sad to see them go) you pay on average $10. a pair, so for a week that's $70 of ruined underwear unless you buy a box of Tampax and preferably also a box of panty liners totallying around $12.00 It's a cost/benefit bargain if you are looking at ruining $70 worth of good designer underwear. Honey, Did you see that designer floral lace bra/undie set for $40. at Coup de Foudre? If the government doesn't pay this, or the school or the Archdiocese think of all the women who are going to spot, stain and ruin their undergarments, plus chairs and all the anxiety that this is going to give them all, not to mention the deep humiliation. The country has a public health interest in not wanting people anxious because then insurance companies will have to pay for more Zanax and Valium, which will have to be underwritten by someone like the Archdiocese or the catholic school, especially if they are self-insured. So you see how much sense it makes to just give me my Tampax and panty liners, dear uncle Sam, in fact a lot more sense than giving me my free contraception because if I choose not to have sex I don't need it at all. I don't have a choice about getting a period for a week every month for about forty years. I do nothing and it hits me like a freight train. Please uncle Sam, can you just buy me that designer floral Coup de Foudre bra-undie set if you won't pay for my Tampax?