Today

The Government has issued a ruling that every home in America must have an actual Monstrance in their home displaying a consecraed Eucharist along with a photo of Our Lady of Guadeloupe regardless of their actual religion. They will give an exemption only to a Jewish synagogue, Muslim Mosque and actual Protestant church building. It has been determined by Catholics in the Administration that these two combined have historic miraculous abilities to heal spiritually and physically merely contemplating them and meditating on their significance. Muslims, Jewish and Protestants object that the 'adoration' aspect of monstrance gazing looks like an idolotry and what's a Monstrance anyway? Jewish and Muslims particularly object because they have the belief that these items are not necessary at all for good health and are strongly idolotrous such that their religious principles are outrageously violated by forcing this availability issue. They don't want it available to their families and children. Keep it to yourself if you think it works miracles. The Government countered that it can order what it wants and statistics and anecdotal evidence both have demonstrated that in fact it is true, devotion to these two items can create miracles and strengthen belief in God, cohesion of families necessary for sound society and generally keep people happy. All good things and well within the government's power to regulate health and welfare. Plus the Government has a deal with the Monstrance manufacturers such that if they get enough people to buy this they will get great discounts on the other metal work that the monstrance manufactuers make like free grocery carts, a particular version of a mini minivan and military tanks. In fact, no one could afford to make the grocery carts, free minivans and tanks available at all unless people were also made to buy these Monstrances. People would break their backs and their eggs if they couldn't get free grocery carts. Some of the religious groups also have strong objection to the military tanks part also but lets leave that aside for now. Get with the program- said the government-you don't get to object to what you object to shouted the government, who was strongly incentivized by the free mini minivan and military tank program subsidized by the Monstrance buying effort. They need the tanks to make war and can't get them unless the Monstrance dealers can also underwrite the tanks by the Monstrance program and no one doubts making war is a legitimate exercise of government authority. Suck it up, Rabbis. But, why? wondered the Jewish and Muslim leaders who did not want to tell people they had to put these things in their homes because it violated their anti-idolotry principles. Doesn't anyone in there know modern math? Surely there must be some other way to buy tanks, assuming tanks are laudable in the first place. Because we think mini minivan availability for people who want to drive them is much more important than your objection-and we need tanks for the common defense, so get with the program you zealots. But the Jewish and Muslim congregations and their leaders did not relent. The Protestants were just confused and trying to play both sides. They persisted so the Government somewhat caved and said- OK, well, you don't have to actually provide the monstrances and the Icons of Our Lady of Guadeloupe-just kidding. We will arrange for the local Catholic Cathedral shop to provide them, you just have to give us the mailing list of all your students who purchase any of your religious books and we will add an insert flier telling them where they can get these things free with a church Mass bulletin ad so they can go right to the Cathedral or Basillica local shop and get them free for their homes. You won't even have to see them. We promise. We worked a deal where the Knights of Malta and Columbus will pay for them all because they believe so strongly in the miraculous healing power of these items. The government was totally shocked that this still didn't fly. What could possibly be the objection now if they don't have to pay for it- they just have to help us advertise it to their captive audience. They aren't being good citizen team players. Lets put them all on our bad citizen list. They are making War on Monstrances and War on Catholics everywhere. They are bigots and zealots and extremists who are killing our war effort and depriving everyone of mini minivans they need to get their kids to their dentist appointments. How unAmerican. Surely there are some Monstrance loving Muslims and Jews out there, aren't there? How can you deprive them of the miracles? ---------------



The Administration is not getting how basic and central it is to the Catholic Faith that their people not worship at the altar of sexual liberation. Becoming what God made them in their view never involves an abortion, morning after pill abortofascients or contracepting life. It runs totally counter to their teaching and faith structure. It runs totally counter to how they are forming the morality of their youth. They are in the business of moral 'formation' in schools and it runs 180 degrees counter to their teaching. Abortions are banned in Catholic hospitals. Anyone committing one there is excommunicated often. They are as serious about this as the air they breathe, and it would not matter if the government were Republican or Democratic- they would have the same moral outrage and objection. --------------------------------------------------------

If the government can make them do this, then the government is infringing on the Free Exercise of Religion. And the country is a very different place than the founders imagined. (disclaimer: the account above is analogy, fiction, if you didn't realize. But it looks to the Bishops close to what the HHS mandate is doing)