Lenten Forgiveness

Doesn't require Altzheimers. You may never forget what happened, but it's required to get over it and move on. "Avance en large" is how one confessor put it to me. Get over it and move on. If the other party doesn't acknowledge squarely the wrong at all or apologize it doesn't require a reconciliation with that person-- just a reconciliation on your part with God by your forgiveness. If the other person is so clueless they don't get what was wrong with their conduct to a point where they ask forgiveness and say sorry to your face, you don't have to subject yourself to the possibility that they will recreate the same destructive behavior again. Move on. My father mentored someone for years in a company who ended up betraying him, screwing him over and taking over a promotion that my father should have received. My father had two choices. I told him - if you can't forgive and move on he wins, if you can forgive and move on you win. He hadn't thought of it in those terms. He had an option of suing for a bucket of things, but didn't. It is an earth trial for a heavenly reward. You may lose on earth and win in heaven. It is even more hurtful and painful and harder to forgive when the other side perversely uses the authority structure to try to make you out to be a bad guy. Jesus recall was tried officially. He was put on trial. Mocked by soldiers in authority who had authority to detain and torture him under color of law. He was given the official government punishment of Crucifixion- the most humiliating torturous death. And what were his last words "Father, Forgive them-" They don't have the foggiest clue what they are doing. Previously he called these people "blind guides", "white washed tombs full of dead men's bones." Utterly clueless. And they killed off their very salvation. We can in hindsight look back and say what stunning stupidity. He probably looked in head shaking amazement at their spiritual blockages, like corroded arteries to the heart of God. And yet, he forgave them. For those who say sorry, he says come back home. The saying 'sorry' part is what the act of contrition is for in the confessional- but it is also required, if you wish to reconcile with the person wronged or offended to say sorry directly to them. If you don't consider yourself unreconciled. Forgiven possibly, but still unreconciled. It could be an ego blockage, which is why Pride is a deadly sin.