Scooping Poop

and Making a Clean Break For It.

Today's Fox-hole internet news reported that Obama told a classroom full of Arlington kiddies that he scoops Bo's poop up when he walks him. This met with a children's chorus of "eeeeeewwwww!!" I imagine that Fox reported this to mock the Pooper Scooper in Chief. But it backfired because anyone who has or had a dog would find that admirable- even endearing. What-you want a federal salary going specifically toward someone following behind the Presidential pooch for the sole purpose of watching wandering waste? Would this be a Schedule C Presidential appointment for "The Plastic Hand." Cabinet level for "Waste Management" maybe? The President demonstrates exactly the kind of literally down to earth realism we want. Bravo.

My metaphoric mind races onward- to that children's book "Everyone Poops" that helps kiddies in potty training not be afraid of Mr. Flush. Everyone who eats, generates some waste. It is what you do with it that distinguishes you either as a piggish dirtbag or Mr. Clean.

The clean-hearted wise pick it up and with a swift toss flush it or dump it for good never be seen or heard from again. Waste is, after all, waste. It smells. It cannot be used for anything good except composte once buried. No one likes walking around a yard dodging bullets for all the piles of crap lying around.

Now you know why some girlfriends demand that in order to get serious with their man they insist that the guy get rid of all the pictures and letters of old flames. Now you know why God said in scripture that in order to get married a man had to LEAVE his mother and father (mother being a very tall order for some Jewish mommas boys) and cleave to his wife so that the two shall become one. Now you know why the Prince could not kiss his Sleeping Beauty to wake her up until he figured out that the wicked evil mother put a curse on her and he kicked the wicked mirror-gazing vain hag to the curb and ran to his beauty.

There is no growth without dumping the waste. If you keep it hanging around and lying around eventually all it will get you is a shoe full of crap. Some old bag crap just needs to be scooped and dumped where it belongs so everyone around isn't dodging bullets of excrement.