PEACE ON EARTH

GOODWILL TOWARD ALL MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN, BORN AND UNBORN

Friday, February 27, 2009

Does God Tweet?

Tweet This

My apologies for anyone tweeting me on twitter to whom I am not responding, which would be any and all of you tweeting me. It's not that I am technologically adverse, and actually I signed up on a lark (forgive the pun.) But I don't have that comfort level on twitter that allows me to let anyone track my every move. It strikes me as cyber-stalking on steroids. Neither do I particularly need to know from "legalbeagle007" that he just left the men's room at the theatre where he forgot to wipe himself. (names changed to protect the ignorant.) This sort of detail it seems to me should not be reserved for the eternally recoverable hard-drives of crackberries which must be produced under federal rules 27-30.
I know I have to come out of the dark ages and learn how to be as adept at this as GEN Next, but I prefer to keep the space between logging on and off something sacredly private--where I am left to my thoughts and the friends I actually know rather than the anonymous multitudes. I also miss the formality of a nice phone call and that polite request to call back if busy. IMing on the fly just seems kind of too personal for people using pseudonyms and acronyms. How do I know you are not a ticked off x-blind date or frivolous suit process server? So please forgive me for not bulletin board posting my every step and trip. There are some places I have to go that you just cannot go with me.
God, however does have an IM bulletin board to which he will usually respond eventually if tweeted. He never sleeps. You don't even need a blackberry- it's called prayer. Throw up a (!!!!) for emergencies and it might get more immediate attention. "HELP" usually works well. You can telepathically post to his IM bulletin board and he instantaneously receives it. He may not answer you right away, or he may answer you in a way you don't at the time appreciate or get- but he hears you. You can tick off God bad enough sometimes by serious sin, so he won't be inclined to answer always unless you admit it and straighten out your act. It's not true that Love means never having to say you are sorry. If you mess up- say you are sorry, so God can tweet you back or send you an IM.
On that note, I will give you twitter tweeters a peak at my schedule tomorrow; I shall be hiding in a convent/monestary of sorts for the Lenten Day of Recollection with the John Carroll Society and the Franciscan Sisters of the Atonement to learn how to say "Sorry." There will be no electronic reception of any kind. It's a silent retreat. We shall practice IMing God telepathically.

If you can give me a good marketing or other reason why twitter is a good idea feel free to comment below. I have an open mind.

on another random note: HOW BOUT THEM STEELERS!!!! (had to get that out)

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