Snow Over It-

How Bout You

I am so bored out of my gourd I have french manicured my fingers and toes twice. I have tried every variety combination of Hot Tottie for the heck of it. Fenty is being castigated for letting snow pile up in between Snowmageddon I and II and Eleanor Holmes Norton has declared a National State of Emergency to get more funding to move the trucks and clear the road. So far the only people clearing sidewalks appears to be Spanish-speaking hotel staff clearing front walks with manual shovels. People are so stir crazy they don't know what day it is. Bulletins and papers are reporting wrong dates and confusing Valentines Day (the 14th) with Sunday and Monday. It's Sunday, so the FTD guys better start delivering today!
There has been non-stop TV coverage on all major news channels regarding the massive closures, all Northern Virginia schools more or less, DC Courts, Federal offices, and your favorite coffee joints -all closed. Retail is still closed because there is no one to sell to. Even the guy who sells warm fuzzy gloves and scarves at the American Gift Center at 16th and K street is shut because he can't get his SUV out of his Potomac driveway.
This had me thinking- if there is this much news coverage over a friggin snow storm, imagine what kind of coverage will happen if it is actually the Second Coming, not the fake Snowmageddon Snowpacolypse.
Will there be coverage on the Yankee Stadium jumbotron with Camden Yards shooting fireworks and laser shows in the sky? Imagine if Jesus actually appears as if on the 'Clouds of Glory' so no one misses the event- what will that actually look like? We have an emergency broadcast interruption- Something or someone who calls himself the Savior of Humanity has just arrived on the Clouds of Glory overlooking Narraganset Bay, stay tuned for full coverage at 6:00 and a CNN special with Wolf Blitzer.
I for one, want the Post office to make good on its' motto-neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor
boogeymen on Channel whatever scaring the living sunshine out of everyone.
I grew up partly in Chicago, Pennsylvania and went to college in upstate New York (Cornell) where if you didn't have to tred to school in three feet of snow several weeks of the year you were "on campus" in a freshman dorm. That's why most older houses have "snow rooms"- to dump your wet boots in them so you don't track snow inside. In Pennsylvania what the roads don't plow we do by just running a few SUVs over fresh powder even if we lose a few into the creek. Just go out back, grab a few fat logs for the fire, put on the hot chocolate and start quilting or embroidering a pillowcase and a few wedding gifts while you are at it.
My motto for the week is:
I would rather be in Val D'Isere. Slushing around in partially cleared slushpuddles in DC is about as much fun as getting whacked in the face with a snowball and having a cop pull a gun on you. Thankfully, they all got the memo this time and didn't bring their firearms to snowball fights in Dupont Circle this time. DC.
And one last point: No, Snowmageddon does not belie 'global warming' or 'climate change'-
It actually proves the point- because the massive heated water systems means more water is evaporated and retained (January being the hottest month of January on record) and therefore more snow accumulates and falls. Uncle Al still Rocks.