PEACE ON EARTH

GOODWILL TOWARD ALL MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN, BORN AND UNBORN

Friday, December 17, 2010

Army Manual

Chapter 5: How to Put Off A male Gay Advance (Unless you are curious)

If approached by someone you suspect is taking an extreme liking to you in close quarters of the same gender any of the following remarks is considered appropriate and effective:

1. I have a headache tonight and no left leg, how attractive can you possibly find me.
2. I prefer natural blondes, with real natural breasts but thanks for the offer.
3. Unless you are capable of carrying twins I prefer fooling around with people who come fully loaded with child-bearing capabilities.
4. Is that a gun in your pocket or did you mistake me for Nurse Hoolihan?
5. Trust me, you can't afford me. My medical bills alone will bankrupt us.
6. I have a rule. Dinner and a movie first- oh, there are no movies in the Green Zone-guess that means no date night for you.
7. You first have to ask permission of my spiritual director- Archbishop Broglio.

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