I can't help myself-it's too funny.
Over the loudspeaker comes a recorded message from Janet Napolitano the head of Homeland Security advising that if you see anything unusual or suspicious to alert the station manager, metro police or other authorities. Metro police are there to stop people from eating I suppose because they don't stop people from doing anything else like yelling into cell phones, goosing people in too tight standing room rush hour or after events or otherwise speaking so loudly you would think you just landed in a chicken hawking market in Nairobi.
As I listen to Janet I look overhead and blinking in Neon above the platform is a notice flashing alternatively with the train arrival schedules saying "No reported Elevator Outages." Because apparently it is pressworthy when there are not any- because typically there are a lot-or at least a lot that are perhaps unreported? Then I look and notice that the escalators at Farragut North a major downtown office location where people cart back and forth heaving document briefing bags, shopping stuff and other luggables, BOTH internal escalators are out and surrounded by the barricades that lived at the Bethesda Metro (and might still do) for about a year. Because it takes that long to fix or operate escalators???
So while I start the New Year totally cracking myself up allow me this note to Dear Janet:
Can you please have a meeting with Mayor Gray immediately- because I have found something unusual. There are apparently today no reported elevator outages but none of the escalators are running at Farragut North. And I only looked at one stop.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I'm going back to New York.
Don't forget to catch a cab if you drink too much tonight----it may even be free.
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